Liquid Crack

Dear, sweet, perfect dulce de leche, how I love you. You are silky and golden and simple and versatile and freaking delicious. I remember the night we met. I was being served dessert at an Argentinian restaurant in Soho, NYC, you were wrapped inside a crepe, waiting to ooze out and be devoured. And devoured you were. Decorum kept me from licking you off the plate right then and there, but I wanted to. Oh how I wanted to. I was in awe of you, dulce de leche. Lovedrunk. Smitten.

Since then, your name has shown up in many other desserts and in many recipes. Often times, the recipes call for "store bought" dulce de leche. But that seems so cheap and tawdry. You're better than that. You deserve to be cared for by me from beginning to end. And so, I scoured the internet for ways to bring you into my life once again. What I discovered was shocking. Who would have believed that such a beautiful and rich sweet young thing like yourself could be so easy??? Frankly, dulce de leche, I'm SHOCKED. But I still love you. And I always will. And once I give your recipe to the Internet, so will they.

And so, Internet, meet dulce de leche. Dulce de leche, meet Internet.

DULCE DE LECHE in your CROCKPOT- THE EASIEST AND MOST DELICIOUS RECIPE EVER:

1. Buy a can of sweetened condensed milk. (Stay away from Eagle, because I think that brand has a waxy inside of the can, which may melt.) Actually, buy TWO cans. Or three. Or twelve.
2. Take the label off the can(s).
3. Put a piece of tin foil on the bottom of your crock pot.
4. Put the can(s) on top of the tin foil.
5. Put enough water in the crock pot to cover the can(s) completely.
6. Turn your crock pot on low.
7. Leave it for 8 hours or so. (I accidentally let mine go for 11, and it was just fine!)
8. Turn crock pot off.
9. Leave the can(s) in the crock pot, with the water, for several more hours to cool.
10. Take can(s) out.
11. Open can.
12. Taste with spoon.
13. Try to not eat the whole thing in one sitting.

Dulce de leche can be used for tons of things. In addition to wrapping it up in a crepe, you could also drizzle it over ice cream, mix it into brownies, jazz up some frosting, or sandwich it between some alfajores (add some orange zest to the recipe, trust me), like these:

All I can say now is, you’re welcome. Or, I’m sorry.