Carb-Loading for Marathon Watchers

Nine times out of 10, when someone makes the crack, "Time to make the doughnuts," it gets a laugh. Okay, maybe a chuckle. At least a smirk. I'm not sure if that's because the mustachioed Dunkin' Donuts worker from the commercial was just that hilarious and beloved, or because the phrase is usually uttered when it's way too early to be doing whatever mundane task you're being forced to do. Last weekend, on the morning of the NYC marathon, I rolled out of bed at 7:30 a.m. and said "Time to make the doughnuts" out loud to no one in particular. I laughed a little bit, partly because of my nostalgia for a great mustache, and partly because I was 100 percent serious, which probably makes me a total dork. BUT, a dork who makes doughnuts is dork easily forgiven.

The NYC marathon is one of my favorite events of the year: The weather is usually the perfect fall mix of sunny yet crisp, the neighborhoods lining the marathon route are loaded with enthusiastic and creative fans, and the event gives me agreat excuse to invite friends to brunch!

Brunch usually starts out on the marathon sidelines with homemade scones (because cheerers need to carb-load too!). This year, it was bacon-maple scones that gave us the energy to cheer for roughly 90 minutes before we reached our mile 26 and had to walk to my place for mimosas and more brunch. Scrambled eggs are an easy post-marathon brunch food to whip up quickly, and they went well with the sausage inwine sauce recipe of my dad's. The highlight of the brunch, however, was the doughnuts. Homemade doughnuts! I made them!

This concept sort of blows my mind. Doughnuts are such a perfect food, it seems like they should always be created by someone else. Someone professional. Still, about 10 years back, I found this recipe for pumpkin doughnuts with powdered sugar glaze and spiced sugar doughnut holes, and it didn't seem all that complicated. And, frankly,it wasn't. I made the dough the night before the marathon and shaped them on the morning of. The only adjustment I made to the recipe was adding ginger and cinnamon to the powdered sugar glaze, and making my spiced sugar with cinnamon and ginger instead of cinnamon and nutmeg. I made sure to keep a close eye on the thermometer in the oil, too, as I was a bit paranoid about a hot oil mishap. But, overall, the recipe was a snap. A dangerous, dangerous snap. The finished doughnuts were delicious (and adorable). I suggest training like a marathon runner if you are going to have this recipe in your possession. (Training to be a marathon eater won't be a problem.)

Yes.Yes! YES!!!

It's been a while, yes, and I will not do that thing your friends do where they tell you they've been sooooooo busy and that's why they haven't called/emailed/hung out, when all they've really been doing is upping their score on computer solitaire and watching bad TV while you've been working three jobs and putting yourself through grad school. I will, however, say hello (Hello!) and offer you a recipe that I think might be the greatest thing I've ever done. Notice I said the greatest thing I've ever done. Not baked, done. I'm serious; this probably trumps anything I've ever accomplished in school, at work, and in all those other places where one typically receives accolades. I give you...

Maple-Bacon Cupcakes with.... (wait for it)... Maple-Bourbon Frosting. Awwwwwww yeah.

I made these for a friend's going-away/birthday party last weekend, and, to give you an idea of the reception they got, please note that when I simply told the party what they were, a stranger hugged me. This cupcake has a perfect salty-sweet-alcohol balance, and is particularly interesting because you can taste the smokiness of the bacon throughout. Honestly, unless you add a hot tub and a pile of cash, I don't know how anything in life could be better than these.

Maple-Bacon Cupcakes with Maple-Bourbon Frosting

For the cupcakes:

1 pound bacon

2 1/2 cups flour

2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon sale

1 stick unsalted butter (minus about a half tablespoon), room temp.

1 tablespoon bacon grease (reserved from cooking bacon, cooled to harden)

1/2 cut light brown sugar

2 large eggs

1 1/4 cup grade B maple syrup

1/2 cup buttermilk/sour milk (1/2 cup milk mixed with 1.5 tsp vinegar, let sit for 10 min)

2 teaspoons vanilla (honestly, I can't remember if I added this or not. Use your judgment.)

1. Cook the bacon. Save the drippings and allow them to cool in the fridge until they have a butter-like consistency. Mince cooled bacon to bacon-bit-size pieces. You should wind up with about a cup of chopped bacon.

2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

3. Sift the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt together. Set aside.

4. Beat the butter, bacon grease and sugar on medium speed in a large bowl until fluffy. Add eggs, syrup and (maybe?) vanilla.

5. Alternate mixing in the flour mixture with the buttermilk. Start with about a third of the flour, then a third of the buttermilk, etc.

6. Stir in about half of the bacon. (The other half will be sprinkled on top.)

7. Fill cupcake tins about 3/4 way full.

8. Cook for about 20 minutes, or until a tester comes out clean. Cool completely.

For the frosting:

1 stick butter (8 tablespoons, that is)

3 cups powdered sugar

about 1/2 cup grade b maple syrup

about 1/2 cup bourbon (I used Maker's Mark)

1. Beat butter in mixer fit with paddle attachment.

2. Add powdered sugar in a little at a time to incorporate. You may need to scrape the butter from the bowl every so often.

3. Add in 1/4 cup of maple syrup and 1/4 cup of bourbon (taste frequently to get the right balance of flavor -- you may choose to go more bourbon-heavy, or more syrup-heavy). Continue adding a combination of both until you reach desired consistency for spreading.

4. Frost cupcakes and sprinkle with remaining minced bacon.

Liquid Crack

Dear, sweet, perfect dulce de leche, how I love you. You are silky and golden and simple and versatile and freaking delicious. I remember the night we met. I was being served dessert at an Argentinian restaurant in Soho, NYC, you were wrapped inside a crepe, waiting to ooze out and be devoured. And devoured you were. Decorum kept me from licking you off the plate right then and there, but I wanted to. Oh how I wanted to. I was in awe of you, dulce de leche. Lovedrunk. Smitten.

Since then, your name has shown up in many other desserts and in many recipes. Often times, the recipes call for "store bought" dulce de leche. But that seems so cheap and tawdry. You're better than that. You deserve to be cared for by me from beginning to end. And so, I scoured the internet for ways to bring you into my life once again. What I discovered was shocking. Who would have believed that such a beautiful and rich sweet young thing like yourself could be so easy??? Frankly, dulce de leche, I'm SHOCKED. But I still love you. And I always will. And once I give your recipe to the Internet, so will they.

And so, Internet, meet dulce de leche. Dulce de leche, meet Internet.

DULCE DE LECHE in your CROCKPOT- THE EASIEST AND MOST DELICIOUS RECIPE EVER:

1. Buy a can of sweetened condensed milk. (Stay away from Eagle, because I think that brand has a waxy inside of the can, which may melt.) Actually, buy TWO cans. Or three. Or twelve.
2. Take the label off the can(s).
3. Put a piece of tin foil on the bottom of your crock pot.
4. Put the can(s) on top of the tin foil.
5. Put enough water in the crock pot to cover the can(s) completely.
6. Turn your crock pot on low.
7. Leave it for 8 hours or so. (I accidentally let mine go for 11, and it was just fine!)
8. Turn crock pot off.
9. Leave the can(s) in the crock pot, with the water, for several more hours to cool.
10. Take can(s) out.
11. Open can.
12. Taste with spoon.
13. Try to not eat the whole thing in one sitting.

Dulce de leche can be used for tons of things. In addition to wrapping it up in a crepe, you could also drizzle it over ice cream, mix it into brownies, jazz up some frosting, or sandwich it between some alfajores (add some orange zest to the recipe, trust me), like these:

All I can say now is, you’re welcome. Or, I’m sorry.

Inner Soccer Mom

Last week, NYC public schools had a snow day. Snackhands thought a great way to spend this unexpected free time would be to bake sugar cookies, an experiment I have put off for way too long. That's why it's nice to be a teacher -- you can bake ANYTHING, and you have willing taste-testers who will gush all over whatever you feed them. I love a good sugar cookie, but hadn't found the right time to test them out myself. The snow day was pretty close to Valentine's day, so voila! I used this recipe for the cookies (I did one and a half recipes and wound up with about a hundred cookies) and this one for the glaze. I decorated them with royal icing (recipe below). They turned out pretty awesome, and the girls were THRILLED.

Anyone who wants to hire me and my soccer mom abilities can email me at snackhands@nyc.rr.com. For an extra fee, you can tell the other soccer moms that, yes, you made and decorated the cookies yourself!

Royal Icing (great for decorating because it dries hard):

3 egg whites

1/4 tsp. cream of tartar

1 pound powdered sugar, sifted

Food coloring, optional

Beat egg whites and cream of tartar until foamy. Gradually beat in sugar, then beat at high speed until very thick and glossy. (Beaters should leave sharpt, firm peaks.) Add food coloring to desired effect. Cover bowl with damp cloth to prevent "crusting."

*This recipe makes enough to decorate an 8, 9 or 10 inch cake. Or to decorate 100 cookies.